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A nurse is doing her rounds on the psychiatric ward one night. On her first round she stops to check on Dave, who is sitting on the end of the bed holding on to an imaginary steering wheel. The nurse says, "ave, what are you doing?"

He replied, " I'm driving to Chicago!" The nurse smiles and moves on.

Later in the evening, she rounds again to find Dave still sitting on the edge of his bed, 'driving'; then abruptly makes a gear-shift move and stops. The nurse asks, "ave, what are you doing now?"

Dave replies, "I'm in Chicago!"

The nurse smiles and continues her rounds.

Across the hall, the nurse walks in on Rob and is horrified to see him sitting on the edge of his bed, masturbating. She exclaims, "Rob! What are you doing?!"

Rob grins and says "I heard Dave's out of town, so I'm fucking his wife!"