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Blog de samantha_lee
I prefer the tearm self mutilation
I AM a cutter, i like running razors over my shoulders, back, sides, and any where they do not show. i know im showing them not in this blog but i was told i had to(my … says things like that all the time. "Sam you just have to do it and trust me it will help." i told her about maybe doing this site and she got ecstatic apparently trying to be open is huge or something. so there we go one of my issues laid bare i like mutilating my self and dont want anyone to know or see it because they all feel sorry for me. stop feeling sorry for me. I'm a depressive person who can smile all day at work and come home grab a razor and try to cut out all the hurt i received (by the way quite yelling at your pharmacy tech when insurance will not cover you we didn't do it). btw this is one reason i will not be posting pictures on here either. so back to the main topic. im depressed a lot and very depressed right now. i should tell someone close to me but i can't that would be weakness and i can't afford more of that. i should tell my mother but she will either blame her or my grandmother for how i was raised. i can't tell my father tho he is the closest to safe because he will be mortified and probly blame me(on second thought i probably deserve to tell him then). i live and function in society. i wake up go to work eat and sleep just like i should. except i really don't. I don't cry never really have. i don't really care how others feel about never really did but do not feel sorry for me. i have so far not cut for a long wile. because i have someone that checks me some times and she cant see it, but i want to and apparently i needed to tell someone other than my …
I know i just made a lot of people very sad. I didn't really mean to. And i am sorry i did.
Sam
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samantha_lee: LOL fighting im good at ive fought all my life but as a … i had 90% of my shoulders carved in varying depths
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samantha_lee: it wasn'tcouragous it was how i dealt with life i enjoyed it enjoyed the blood running down my arms enjoyed cleanning it with … it was a release.
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