something that seems to escape a lot of people's notice is how much power the Sub in this type of relationship has. It's built around her limits (or his if it's the other way around) and yes, you do push the boundaries. Do things that will make them touch the edge of nervousness. A gag when they're worried it will be uncomfortable and that you won't notice how she shakes her head to tell you when it's too much. A blindfold which builds the anticipation, when will he strike, how hard, where too. Will he touch me softly, teasing pleasure to be replaced with an enjoyable sting instead.

But, her power comes in the trust that he has had to build and earn, in the developing of hard limits which although they can change are set before hand. In the signals that say "slow down" or "stop".

The Dom is dominant in his movement, in his actions and confidence. The Sub is powerful in her willingness to put trust in another, to allow herself to let go of her control and be free from decision. It's truly awe inspiring to witness.