Probably the most urgent thing for folks to know is - I cannot be your sugar daddy. Even though I look like Santa Claus. Sort of. I'm working on it, and one day that could change; but no immediately.

2nd - the primary profile photo, the Santa one- is NOT me. But gives the right idea. The thing is, I can be recognized in a bunch of different places; and I just don't need the hassle. Not hiding from anyone, just don't have time. So - if you take the Santa pic; and kind of cross it with Sean Connery when he is playing Indiana Jones' father - that will actually be pretty close. The other photo; the one with just beard and nose - IS me. I normally wear my beard much shorter, but grew it out for Christmas this year, and haven't cut it yet. If you've been reading much of my stuff here, you may have discovered I've developed a fantasy about a little role playing - "Santa and His Naughty Little Elf Girl(s)" . That's really growing on me- until I see whether I can actually find some naughty elves, I'm going to leave it as is. (The beard, incidentally, is a major sex organ. Why do you think they start to grow at puberty?? Imagine - feathers, being dragged over your skin; all over - ONLY BETTER- and with lips inside the feathers, nibbling. Post-coital was my 1st wife's preference.)

And, 3rd - I am SO not interested in cyber. I need hands on, face to face, 1 to 1, physical sex. Starved. Bones sticking out, metaphorically.

And 4th - I hate these websites, and they hate me. None of them work exactly the same way; sometimes what you write sticks; sometimes it LOOKS like it will but it disappears- crapola. I have plenty of imagination; but I need to exercise it on something real.

I'll try to keep up some new info here as we move forward.

I'm not hung up on your height, weight, IQ, education, color- really not. I have no known hang-ups. Just need some solid primate interaction.

So here’s the deal!

I’ve been married twice; 21 years, and 20 years- and both were pretty much sexual disappointments. I am, by nature, the original “Nice Guy”- faithful; and incredibly patient. (Not a pushover, though; team captain for an NCAA martial art in college.)

Wife 1; 1.5 years older than I, was not very sexual; I only remember her initiating sex like twice, in 21 years. She was pretty ok with “putting up” with it; but- enthusiasm; meh. She was one of those poor souls who somehow don’t reach orgasm. I spent a long time looking for her clit; and was never sure I ever found it. She wasn’t able to help much.

Wife 2 - is 30 years younger than I am. Everybody says we “fit”. She would always orgasm with me; and if we were both in the mood, 2-3 times for her to my once. But, even so; initiate? Nah. Spontaneous? Nah. Weird? Certainly not. And oddly; HYPER sensitive. Lick her clit? No way to do it light enough; too intense to stand- so; no. Which really … me off, because she had the best smelling pussy I’ve ever run into. Delicious. I would deeply inhale it off my fingers (and mustache) for hours after I’d managed to steal a little cunnilingus (once a year.) Seriously- would make the world’s most expensive perfume. Sigh. She never believed me. My ideal partner? In that situation- would once a day, or so, put her fingers up her pussy, and then sneak them under my nose; rubbing the scent deep in my mustache. Maybe with breakfast coffee.. I’d never know when she would attack me; and she’d never forget to attack.

Then we had a baby, which we both wanted very much- but the bloody kid did not sleep through the night until she was 3; some of you know what that means. Then in a few more years- wife had a serious misunderstanding with a draft horse stallion; and wound up with 18 pieces of titanium on her leg. Couple painful years.

Now- she tells me- after long conversations with her shrink- she truly is; and probably always was- asexual. Just; in her entire life, I was the only man who ever turned her on. (think about that!) If she does “it” now- and she’s willing, “for me” - it’s just irritating for her. Which, oddly, is not what I’m looking for in my sex partner. … off pity sex! What a turn on! Is my partner’s pleasure important?? Jeezzzus. Nothing is a bigger mindblowing all-day turn on than making your partner ... dangle. Dangle... Writhe. Dangle... and.. explode. What both my wives “gave” me was - “... um.... huh? what, NOW?... uh.. oh... I suppose... what are you doing?? come on, I’m too tired to make a big deal out of this.... uh.... huh..... there we go. you’ve got the tissues on your side again... did you take the chicken out to thaw?”

So. Wife 2 knows, and approves, of my looking hereabouts. It makes her sad- and she thinks it’s funny as hell. Ok then.

So what do I want? SOMEBODY OWES ME 40 YEARS OF FUCKING!!! Like right now.

Good sex. Lustful. Loving. Sweet. Ferocious. Bestial. Pan. Sleepy. Wake up. Nooners. Cock-up-your-tail Hour. Feeling your naked pussy up under the restaurant table cloth. Me god, … And His Naughty Little Elf Girl(s) Get Naughtier. And anything else you can think of. In fact. What about Muskrat Fun, and Double Hannenframmis? Show me how.

Realities- I’m recognizable; and for business reasons need to make serious efforts to be “discreet.” But I need to get LAID too! So I’ll steal hours and days and nights whenever I can. k! I hope that answers some of your questions, and makes you wet. If you email/message me, I WILL answer, though it might take a day or two.

Dream a little dream of me- and I do have visions of sugar-plum fairies dancing in my brain now...

Maybe more here, in the days ahead. Go ahead and ask for clarification on - anything.